So I won’t go into total detail about my neuroses and anxieties, as there are a lot of them (I think), and I don’t feel completely comfortable at this point talking about them. I had a girlfriend about 4 months ago and I broke up with her. 99% of the reasoning I broke up with her was on my end, there was nothing about her that didn’t really work for me. She is an awesome and beautiful person and if I could make myself be in love with her, I would, which was part of the problem. Anyways, I made it a point that I want to be friends with her,(there was a reason that we got along in the first place, we have a lot in common and we get along great) so we’ve hung out a couple of times and things have been pretty good. I mean, we didn’t fight, we laughed at each others jokes and nothing bad got brought up from the past. She really won’t talk about us before, which I can understand but she won’t really talk about anything going on in her life. It seems really weird, but it is her trying to keep her distance, I get it, but I’d like her to be comfortable around me like before. I don’t have a lot, or any, friends at that was one of the things that I was scared of when we broke up; losing a very close friend. I’ve brought up my problems and she sidesteps them a little, not answering but giving some nice supportive answer. Again, I get it. But I don’t want to. The majority of our conversations revolve around cats. She has 2 of them and I miss them. I don’t have cats but I volunteer at a local shelter so I get to take pictures and send them to her and she sends me pictures of her cats and we comment on them. It’s fine and all, but it’s kinda odd. Maybe I’m being selfish. I probably am.
Exes cats tripping on catnip.
I guess I just miss having someone around like she was to me. I miss that. I haven’t really hung out with anyone the past 4 months. I’d like to make a connection with someone again but I have other things to address that I don’t want address with myself right now. I’m scared of the hole I’m going to fall in and I don’t know how deep it’s going to be. I do miss you Bri.
Anyways…Did you watch Bellflower? It’s not a great movie, but there’s something about it that I really like. The flamethrower was pretty badass.
Here’s another band I’ve been liking a lot over the past 8 months, saw them open up at the local, big music venue.
Mirror Antiquity 